Contrary to popular belief, Dorothy Parker's grave doesn't say "Excuse my dust." She doesn't actually have one - she was cremated and her ashes were scattered - but apparently the garden where the ashes were eventually scattered thought to add it to the plaque that commemorates her there.
Thanks to Find A Grave, I have found a few verifiable - and funny - epitaphs from various famous folks:
- Mel Blanc's headstone quotes his famous line, "That's All, Folks!", which, if you think about it, is appropriate on many levels.
- Robert Frost's headstone proclaims: "I Had a Lover's Quarrel With the World."
- Spike Milligan's says, "Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite." (Which is Gaelic for "I told you I was sick.")
- And finally, the headstone that prompted this silly search in the first place, game show pioneer Merv Griffin: "I will not be right back after this message."
(The title of this post originates outside the Haunted Mansion ride at the Magic Kingdom. While most of the Disney World rides offer you some distraction while you wait, the headstones that greet the line for this ride are funny in the most corny, silly, mildly twisted way possible.)