History is Funny

The History Is Funny Store Is Now Open!

2009-08-28T12:34:00.001-07:00

I know, two posts in one day after four posts in a year is a little excessive, but I have a funny story to tell you about this very blog, which I guess would make it a (History Is Funny) Is Funny story.

Sunday night I had the TV tuned to "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" for about five minutes. Now, I don't usually watch game shows these days because after an ignominious defeat on a certain show where you have to answer everything in the form of a question, I just get mad. And Sunday's "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" was no exception - they were on the million dollar question, which involved identifying Lyndon Johnson's favorite beverage.

Well, obviously I know that. I even blogged about it once. Time it was that my site was on the first page of google results for "LBJ Fresca." In fact, that was still true as of Sunday, a fact I didn't connect until I looked at my site stats and saw that I'd gotten over 1,600 unique page views within an hour or two of that trivia question airing. (Of course, now that this bit of trivia has fallen into game show lore, I'm no longer on the first page of google hits. Oh well. I think I'm still one of the first hits for "Andrew Jackson groin shot". You take your victories where you can get them.)

My supreme moment of idiocy lies in the fact that I've been building a t-shirt shop to go with this blog, and I didn't have a link up on the day I had a moment of dubious internet fame, thus costing me perhaps dozens of sales. It starts to become clear now how I haven't managed to retire before age 30 with my massive piles of game show winnings and/or Nobel Prizes, I know.

I won't make that mistake again. You must all know about the site now: presenting the History Is Funny Store, brought to you by printfection. I have half a dozen designs up so far, with many more to come. I have a couple of the shirts myself and the print quality and shirt quality are excellent. I have kept the prices as low as possible so it feels a little less like highway robbery - I make a buck off of anything I sell here, and that's it.

Happy shopping! Feedback and suggestions are more than welcome.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

2009-08-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

As a longtime aficionado of the Kennedy mystique (and I do mean long-time; I had my own copy of the Warren Report when I was nine), I was saddened to learn about the passing of Ted Kennedy this week. Of all the Kennedy brothers, he certainly accomplished the most, even if his legacy is a little bit tarnished by scandal and the looming shadow of two brothers who did something he couldn't compete with - dying young with potential.

My favorite accomplishment of Senator Kennedy's didn't take place on the legislative floor, but at a college where he'd be hard-pressed to find anybody who agreed with him on anything. Kennedy was a good friend of the Reverend Jerry Falwell despite their ideological differences, but when Falwell invited him to speak at Liberty Baptist College (now Liberty University), I don't think anybody really expected him to take him up on it, or if they did, they expected the hard-line liberal to come in fighting. But his speech, known as the "Truth and Tolerance in America" speech, was an eloquent, respectful meditation on the separation of church and state, as well as a call for national unity.

No matter your political ideals or affiliation, his message here is a great read. (And not without a little wry humor.) You can watch the video, see the audio, or read the full text at American Rhetoric.

(The image in this post is Senator Kennedy with my favorite ex-Prez, Jimmy Carter, in 1977. It's from the National Archives via the Carter Library.)

Fun With the LOC Prints and Photographs Collection

2009-05-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

Gerald Ford always strikes me as one of the funniest presidents. From Ron "Clam Chowder" Nessen, the first White House staffer to host Saturday Night Live, to pardoning the White House turkey a little bit too late to one of the funniest SNL sketches ever (surprisingly, featuring neither Ron Nessen nor Chevy Chase), something about the man attracts humor.

This week, while browsing the Library of Congress, I found the following morsel of hilarity, amusing for oh so many reasons:

As White House reporters listen raptly and take copious notes, President Ford regales them with a passionately recounted tale of the time he was scouted by the Detroit Lions. Or the time he was on the cover of Cosmo. Or the time he told the entire city of New York to drop dead and New York just had to sit there and take it. I'm not really sure which story it is, but whatever he's saying, President Ford is having a hard time hearing anybody's reactions over the sound of how awesome he is.

But that's not even the funniest part of the photo. Look over there to the left of the president, at the Richard Dreyfuss-looking guy in the shaggy 70s haircut and the disbelieving smirk. He's sure not buying whatever Jerry's selling. Does he look familiar? He should. Subtract those marvelous locks of hair, add some little round glasses, and put a few lines on that smirk:

That's right, it's none other than former vice president Dick Cheney, who served as Ford's chief of staff after Donald Rumsfeld was promoted to secretary of defense in 1975.

For my money, there's nothing more hilarious than outdated photos of a public figure, especially when those photos come from an aesthetically hideous era. It may be why I decided to study history. Here are two more awesome Cheney photos from the Ford years, proving that he basically has one facial expression, and it's smirky:

And now with bonus Donald Rumsfeld!:

TV shows only I would watch

2009-02-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

A particular joy of working where I do is that you learn something new every day.

Today I learned that Illinois Senator Dick Durbin, New York Senator Chuck Schumer, and two guys in the House of Representatives are roommates when Congress is in session.

I've previously told you about the Supreme Court's very similar arrangement back at the dawn of the 19th Century, and how cohousing SCOTUS would have made the best season of The Real World ever. Now I think it might have some competition. Okay, the partisan squabbling would probably be less brazen given that they're all pretty liberal, but guys, Durbin yelling at everybody for the zillionth time to pay him back for that Costco trip in 1996? Killing rats with a golf club? This could be the highest rated program ever to air on C-SPAN.

Possibly the best line in the whole article: "So we found Chuck [Schumer] living in a basement somewhere."

2009-01-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

Now that my Huge Important Work Project is winding down, hopefully I'll have some energy to bring you more funny history.

Today I spent some time reading up on G. Harrold Carswell, Nixon's second failed nominee to the Supreme Court slot left vacant by Abe Fortas in 1970. Carswell was an utterly mediocre judge with an objectionable civil rights record, and he was summarily rejected by the Senate, 51-45. He had his share of supporters, though, especially among Southerners and Republicans.

Senator Roman Hruska of Nebraska said this about Carswell: "There are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren't they? We can't have all Brandeises, Frankfurters and Cardozos and stuff like that there."

...yeah. For the highest court in the nation, someone thought we needed to make sure mediocrity is represented. Although now that I think of it, that line of reasoning might go a small distance toward explaining Harriet Miers.

Let's hope our new president likes the idea of having all Brandeises, Frankfurters, and Cardozos, just in case he's got the opportunity to nominate some and stuff like that there.

One-term veep, one-hit wonder

2008-11-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

When Joe Biden assumes the office of the vice presidency in January, he will be the first vice president from Delaware, the first Catholic elected to the office, and the first with egregious hair plugs. All of these historic firsts pale in comparison...

(ha! I bet you thought I was going to make some pithy comment about Obama's historic election, didn't you? Well, as awesome as that is, I'm taking this in a totally different direction.)

...to Charles G. Dawes, vice president under Calvin Coolidge, the only vice president to have written a number-one hit song.

Dawes, an amateur musician, committed his "Melody in A Major" to paper over the course of one afternoon in 1912, though it had been stuck in his head for days prior to that. A musician friend secretly took it to a sheet music publisher, and bands across the country added it to their sets. Dawes, hardly a household name at the time, was initially flattered by his tune's success, but then the tune just wouldn't die. He went on to serve as Warren G. Harding's Director of the Budget, and won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work on post-war reparations in Germany, but the stupid song was still ubiquitous. It didn't fade into obscurity until years after Dawes himself had faded out of the public eye.

Shortly after Dawes's death in 1951, lyricist Carl Sigler resurrected the tune and added the lyrics we know it by today. "It's All in the Game" was put to a shuffling rock-ballad beat and became a number-one hit for Tommy Edwards in 1958. It has since been recorded by everybody from Robert Goulet to the Four Tops. Most recently, Barry Manilow included it on a 2006 covers album.

What's in a name?

2008-11-06T12:08:00.000-08:00

Today I randomly stumbled across Wikipedia's list of Secret Service codenames from the mid-50s to the present. President-elect Barack Obama is known as "Renegade." (Which is sort of like "Maverick," but better.) His wife and daughters are called "Renaissance," "Rosebud," and "Radiance."

One guy who clearly must have done something to irritate the Secret Service, though, was Gerald Ford's press secretary, Ron Nessen, who was known to the Secret Service as "Clam Chowder." Come to think of it, dude seems to have had a pretty wicked sense of humor, so maybe he got to pick his own. Nessen was the first political figure to host Saturday Night Live during its first season in 1975. You can read transcripts of some of the sketches in his episode here. Unfortunately Nessen as Jefferson's press secretary in "Press Secretaries Through History" hasn't yet been transcribed.

Cast Ballots, Not Aspersions...or, at the very least, do both.

2008-11-04T14:03:00.000-08:00

Hope you all remembered to vote today. In my very humble elitist liberal opinion, this is the first election in many, many years in which we are not deciding between a douche and a turd, so this is pretty exciting stuff.

Also, enjoy the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee's list of White House Cats

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T06:37:00.000-07:00

Funny history is uncovered daily in my office, it's just a matter of recording it. Let's see if I can get back in the habit.

Happy Halloween, readers - all two of you. Enjoy this photo of the Kennedy children's creep-tastic 60s Halloween garb.

We Can Dig It

2008-10-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

Back in the late 90s, Warner Brothers Animation created a history-themed cartoon series called Histeria. Masterminded by the same wacky minds that brought you Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures, Histeria presented historical topics in the form of flashy, bizarre sketches and musical numbers. It was basically as though the Animaniacs ate a history book laced with acid.

Here's one of the sketches:

Yes, that is really Isaac Hayes singing.

I was alerted to the show's existence this afternoon while composing my own meditation on the theme from "Shaft," and it was love at first sight. (Even though my own Taft song was better.)

Topics on the show spanned Western civilization, from Caesar to Napoleon to the Clintons. And okay, some of them are kind of shoddily researched, but they appear to make up in entertainment what they lack in accuracy. Alas, there's no DVD set, but you should be able to catch a few dozen of Histeria's greatest hits on YouTube.

Y HELO THAR LADIES

2008-07-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

From the February 17, 1912 issue of Harper's Weekly:
Pimpin' ain't easy, but it's necessary...in order to get in good with the suffragettes when you're Teddy Roosevelt.

Don't wait for the translation!

2008-05-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

NPR featured an old favorite anecdote this morning, which, in this election year (and with some of our current elected officials), seems super-appropriate.

While running for president against Dwight Eisenhower, Adlai Stevenson was told by a supporter that he'd get the vote of "every thinking man" in the U.S. Stevenson replied, "Thank you, but I'll need a majority to win."

He totally didn't win.

Friday Links Just Pulled Into the Station

2008-05-09T20:20:00.000-07:00

Tony Horwitz is my new hero. I've just begun Confederates in the Attic, which I should have read centuries ago, and which is one of the funniest and most engaging history books I've read in ages. This bodes well for his newest book, another review for which becomes Link Numero Uno in this week's links roundup.

See, I told you - another review of the new Horwitz book, A Voyage Long and Strange.

The secret abandoned rail platform beneath the Waldorf-Astoria hotel. A lot of the video clip seems sort of made up - I think people have pretty well known this platform's been there the whole time, and it wasn't actually built for FDR even though he used it. (Thanks, Daryl! For a guy whose blog title suggests a marked wish to eradicate history, you're still pretty cool. PS, I totally know it's a Ren and Stimpy reference, folks. Don't email me.)

Mental Floss throws up a collection of Victorian-era memento mori -- easily the most strange and disturbing thing I've seen all week.

Did we really have a gay president, or was he just a swingin' bachelor who happened to live with a close male friend and be called "Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy"? Oh, James Buchanan. Whatever your sexuality, you are an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a lavender-scented bow. (Best Week Ever)

Because You Always Wanted James Buchanan Desktop Wallpaper

2008-05-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today's fun history find comes from the Presidential Portraits collection of the National Guard's Heritage Series Image Gallery, where a collection of cheesily awesome collage portraits pay tribute to the U.S. presidents who are also former National Guardsmen.

The portraits range from the pretty standard (James Madison in front of a Constitution backdrop) to the entirely-too-much (Theodore Roosevelt's men from San Juan Hill superimposed, Quantel-like, onto his forehead), to the in-questionable-taste (Garfield's profile, side by side with a smoking pistol? That's sort of not funny. Except that it is. Sorry, James. I was much nicer to you before I found out what a jerk you were to your wife. But that's another post for another time.).

Large versions of all of the paintings are available for download, or if you really love them, you can even order prints! I'm not sure if you can order the prints on velvet tapestry, but that's sort of how I'm picturing them.

Friday Links Speak Softly And Carry A Losing Streak

2008-05-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite trivia sites, Mental Floss, takes a look at Strange Stuff that Races Between Innings at Ballparks. I admire the folks at Let Teddy Win both as a presidential trivia nerd - for their love of Mr. Roosevelt - and as a fan of another doomed racing mascot - for their dogged insistence on rooting for the underdog. The same forces behind Teddy's repeated losses must also be behind Relish's continued ignominious defeat at Keyspan Park.

The author of Confederates in the Attic turns to colonial America for his latest book of weird Americana. (New York Times)

Eddie Izzard's new show contains lots of historical funny. (Boston.com)

And finally, here's 15 Historical Events That Fascinate Us, if by "us" you mean "those of us who had all kinds of books on cryptozoology, psychic phenomena, and other weird unexplainable stuff, I guess. (Frikoo.com)

Friday Links Can't Do That, Dave

2008-04-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

Overheard in New York's most recent history-themed entry.

This is more likely one for the "awesome" file than the "funny" file, but check it out anyway: in-depth video interviews with eight of the nine sitting Supreme Court justices. And where the hell were you, Souter? Hmm?

The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum talks about some of the interesting detritus found in old planes.

The 10 most strangely prophetic sci-fi movies. (Popular Mechanics)
Here's another one that's not straight from the "funny" file, but is bizarrely fascinating all the same: a New York Times op-ed on the history of failed or botched executions in the United States.

Finally, I got a great email from staff at the Sandusky Library in Ohio today, letting me know they enjoyed my site and pointing me to their detail-rich, absorbing Sandusky history blog. It's really quite a fun place. Check it out sometime!

Is the Smithsonian smarter than a fifth-grader?

2008-04-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

Over at the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum, one of their exhibits has been erroneously referring to the Precambrian period as an "era" rather than a "supereon." It took 27 years for someone to notice, and that someone happened to be a fifth-grader.

If you listen to the piece, you learn that the Smithsonian acknowledged and corrected the gaffe (yay!), but sent their thanks to the wrong city and misspelled the kid's name (boo.).

There's a dance band on the Titanic playing "Nearer My God to Thee"

2008-04-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 96th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. My new favorite blog, The Bowery Boys, commemorates the occasion by telling about some of the ship's more famous New York-native passengers. Previously unknown to me: John Jacob Astor was traveling with his 18-year-old wife, with whom he'd fled to Europe a few months prior in an attempt to avoid scandal.

Also, enjoy the 1997 film, reenacted in 30 seconds by bunnies.

The Other OTHER White Meat

2008-04-11T08:58:00.001-07:00

History is Funny took a little unplanned vacation when the ol' day job intervened. Sorry about that. Hopefully we'll resume operations as usual soon.

In the meantime, today at work I learned more than anybody strictly needs to know about the pardoning of the Presidential turkey. Though the White House suggests this practice began with Truman, the Truman Library refutes this. Nobody seems to be sure where this tradition came from, though the photo gallery suggests it might have originated with JFK or Nixon.

Anyway, enjoy this image, from the Ford Library via the White House, of Gerald Ford introducing a live turkey to the frozen, dismembered corpse of one of its brethren. The turkey appears suitably horrified.

He made Westerns...and also this.

2008-03-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today, on BoingBoing, there was a link to a fantastic little piece of forgotten history: Vietnam! Vietnam!, a pro-war documentary produced by the U.S. government and directed, at least nominally, by legendary Western filmmaker John Ford. The blogger who's presenting the film calls it "quite terrible," but the story of the film itself is fascinating.

You can view the entire film, plus read the original treatment, at the above link.

Friday Links really should have been on Mount Rushmore

2008-03-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

As expected, the HBO miniseries John Adams is doing swimmingly - it's HBO's best miniseries debut in four years.

With that in mind, here's an all-Adams Friday Links.

An interview with David Morse, who's playing George Washington. (TV Guide, via the Seattle Post-Intelligencer)
A review that includes interviews with lots of cast and crew. (AP via Newsday)
TIME's review.
And here's a more light-hearted review, from Sarah Riley of the Appleton Post-Crescent in Wisconsin.
For those of you who want to know more about John Adams in general, whether it's because you don't have HBO, you're distracted by Paul Giamatti's facial expressions, or you're just plain intrigued, here's a public-domain biography on Google Books. And of course we have to remember the ladies, so here are Abigail's letters.
And Wikiquotes has some great Adams sound bytes if you're into that sort of thing.

For those of you who don't have HBO, never fear - it'll be out on DVD in June. Add it to your Netflix now!

I'm OK, you're OK, Martin's OK

2008-03-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

It seems like nearly everybody I know watched the opener to the John Adams miniseries last night. I did not, but it is on my DVR and I'll post thoughts as soon as I get caught up.

One thing that strikes me - with all this attention paid to the miniseries, and the way the public has recently devoured various history books by McCullough, Ellis, and the like, geeking out about American history is cool again. This makes me happy - and it inclines me to put some more elbow grease into this blog, in hopes that I can sustain the history love just that much longer.

So if you have story ideas, suggestions, or if you'd like to guest blog, drop me a line or even just comment here.

For now, let's talk about Martin Van Buren.

You know, Martin Van Buren. Eighth president. Crazy-ass whiskers. First president born in the actual United States.

Okay, you probably don't know that much about him. I didn't myself until recently. Thanks to Cecil Adams, and a number of sources at work, I now know more than I ever thought I would about this man. In the process, I discovered what's probably Van Buren's greatest contribution to American life - namely, he likely originated a very important piece of American slang.

Van Buren was of Dutch extraction and was born and raised in the Dutch-American enclave of Kinderhook, New York, earning him the nickname "Old Kinderhook" when he began campaigning for President in 1836. Eventually, his Democratic supporters in New York State took that name for their political club, and abbreviated it "OK." "OK" had previously been used as a jokey editorial abbreviation meaning "oll korrect," but it was its double meaning in politics that caused the expression to really take root.

Although his attempts to build an independent treasury are often underemphasized when talking about his political contribution, Old Kinderhook was generally regarded as less than OK by his contemporaries, and historians have been no kinder. He was unseated fairly handily by Whig candidate William Henry Harrison in 1840, though he remained politically active for the rest of his life, primarily devoting himself to the abolitionist cause. He attempted to run again for president in 1844 but the Democrats declined to back him, so he formed his own party, the Free-Soil party, and tried again in 1848. You have to admire the guy's tenacity.

The Miller Center of Public Affairs at the University of Virginia has an excellent gateway page to all the Van Buren trivia you could ever want.

Should you ever feel like visiting Kinderhook, stop by the Martin Van Buren National Historical Site. If the Metro-North ran that far up, you can bet I'd be doing exactly that ASAP. As it is, I think it'll have to wait until I can join forces with fellow geeks who are also car owners.

Friday Links Aren't Going There, So Don't Ask

2008-03-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

Even though I'm right up against a major-ass deadline at work, I still found time to dig up an economy-sized links package for y'all this week. Read and enjoy!

A new photograph of Helen Keller and her mentor, Anne Sullivan, has been found. The funny comes from the breathless description - it's a doll! Helen loved dolls! She had lots of dolls! This is the only photo in existence of Helen with a doll! Der. She was a little girl. Of course she liked dolls. No wonder that was the first word Anne Sullivan tried to teach her. Big whoop, AP. Incidentally, there is not much else about Helen Keller that is funny, in case your brain tried to reference any of those awful, tasteless jokes that still make the rounds.
A newsreel from the 1930s predicts fashion in 2000.
7 Insane Conspiracies that Actually Happened (Cracked)
Presidential Superstitions (Neatorama)
Here's a classic: John Hargrave's Senator Prank, in which a grown man posing as a ten-year-old boy convinced various senators to send him their favorite jokes. This is much funnier now than it was in 2003, considering that among the respondents you'll find eventual newsmakers like Jon Corzine and Larry Craig.
In the "unintentionally funny" department, Phyllis Schlafly explains the real reason college students so often fail at simple history questions - they're not reading enough books on how great the GOP is! Yeah, that's gotta be it!
It's been a bad week for museums - The Lincoln museum in Fort Wayne, Indiana, is closing up on the eve of the Lincoln bicentennial and the Australian Computer Museum Society just lost its storage space.
Here's a fascinating archive of music, lyrics, and video footage from World War I.

Friday Links Jump the Gun

2008-03-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

I'm posting Friday links a little early this week for a couple of reasons. First off, I want to make up for my poor showing last week. Secondly, I wanted to let all you JFK buffs out there know that his alleged illegitimate son is going to be on 20/20 tomorrow night. Check your local listings for more info.

And speaking of JFK, let's lead this off with another Brad Neely animation, which tells the story of the hypercharismatic telepathical knight we all know and love. (Again, not safe for work at all.)
A Japanese cartoon from the late 30s shows the Japanese fighting Americans, represented by Mickey Mice (Mouses?). (via Neatorama)
There's an entire museum devoted to Presidential pets. Who knew?
Over at the A. Lincoln Blog, Millard Fillmore soap-on-a-rope has been located. No word on whether or not he actually won the auction, though. Incidentally, give it up for Brian at the A. Lincoln blog, who's retiring from the world of history blogging after a lengthy tenure as one of the best Civil War blogs out there.
Incidentally, not a link, but right now there are three Millard Fillmore soaps-on-a-rope for sale on ebay. And I do have a birthday coming up. Okay, in six months, but it's out there!
Figures from early American History immortalized in Pez-dispenser form. (Snopes)
The gun used to kill Lee Harvey Oswald is up for auction, along with a slew of other pop-culture-abilia. (via BoingBoing)
Here's a collection of amazing historical film footage from New York City. (via Gothamist)

Cox and Combes' "Washington"

2008-03-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

Don't you love it when your ipod coughs up one of your favorite songs in the middle of your morning commute? It's especially nice when you're in the middle of reading historical fiction about the founding fathers (Jefferson: A Novel by Max Byrd - maybe I'll post a review when I'm done) and that favorite song is about a founding father.

I must share this modern classic with you now, along with the brilliant animation that accompanies it.

Warning: If you are at work and you have computer speakers, this may not be appropriate. The video is marginally un-work-safe as well.

Another warning: This is probably not strictly historically accurate.

There's at least one more Cox and Combes/Brad Neely video with some historical relevance floating around out there, but I don't want to overload you. So I'll save that one for another time.

"Apology is only egotism wrong side out." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

2008-03-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

We lost our internet connection at work on Friday, so I was unable to get the Friday links up. I'll be sure to super-size them this week, though - hang tight.

In the meantime, Warren G. wants YOU to enjoy the site's brand-new and totally public domain look, which was conceptualized and built for me by the very talented and graphics-capable Daryl Lang, who was troubled by the fact that I was using a copyrighted photo in my logo. Frankly, I was troubled too. One nice thing about making my blog be about history is that I should be able to come up with tons of content that doesn't step on anybody's copyright toes. Therefore, I'm happy to report that this blog is now totally free of anything that does that.

Also coming up this week - more exciting stories about rice. Seriously.

Thomas Jefferson Leads a Horticulture

2008-02-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

Thomas Jefferson has clearly arrived in the world, as he's got his very own wiki. I discovered this today as I combed the Internet to bring you a story with intrigue...and vegetables.

Who loved vegetables more than TJ? Nobody, that's who. He described meat as "a condiment to the vegetables which constitute my principal diet." Dude loved his salads, and meals at the White House during his Presidency were multi-course affairs full of all manner of delicious plants. An avid gardener, Jefferson experimented with exotic vegetables at Monticello, including a good number of new plants collected by the Lewis and Clark expedition, and all kinds of crazy squashes and vegetables imported from Italy. He's often credited with introducing broccoli to the United States, though it never really caught on in the U.S. until after World War I (and with some Americans, like 41st president George H.W. Bush, it never caught on).

Jefferson's lifelong love of horticulture must have tied into his desire to make the new nation more visible on the global scale by discovering and cultivating new exports. In the Southern states, an important cash crop was rice, and when he visited the court of Louis XVI in 1785, Jefferson wanted to convince the French to buy more American rice. Carolina rice hadn't been selling so well in France. Jefferson thought that maybe this was due to the fact that it looked different from the European varieties they were all used to, though whether it was intrinsic to the particular breed of rice or had to do with the way the rice was cleaned and prepared, Jefferson wasn't sure. So he resolved to figure out how to improve it, and that meant a trip to the rice center of Europe - Lombardy, Italy. The variety of rice, called Piedmont, that was grown there did very well in France. The secret to their awesome rice was carefully guarded - the penalty for taking whole husks out of the country was death.

This didn't stop Jefferson, though. He stuffed some unhusked Piedmont rice into his jacket pockets and arranged for a muleteer named Poggio to smuggle some more from Lombardy to Genoa, in hopes that maybe cross-breeding the rice with the Carolina rice would produce a variety more palatable to the French.

As it turned out, he risked life and limb for pretty much nothing. Italian rice was cleaned just about exactly the same way as the American rice, and it didn't even taste that much better. In fact, farmers in Carolina hated the Piedmont rice, and were afraid that crossing it with their own rice would ruin their crops. It turned out there wasn't anything weird about their rice that made the French not buy it, anyway, it was just that it was expensive due to the fact that it came to France via British middlemen. Jefferson urged farmers to send their rice directly to France, and everyone was happy, except maybe the British.

Later on, Jefferson also experimented with rice from Egypt, West Africa, and the Dutch East Indies, and tried for years to get rice from China and Vietnam, enlisting the help of everyone from sea captains to deposed Eastern royalty. He grew various types of rice in flowerpots on his windowsill to test its tenacity. Man knew his rice. Of course, he was Thomas frickin' Jefferson -- he knew pretty much everything.

Here's a sketch from The Daily Show, all about Jefferson and his vegetables, starring Steve Carell.

Ask Not What Friday Links Can Do For You

2008-02-22T14:52:00.001-08:00

I promise a new feature next week. And my promises are worth at least as much as any political candidate's.

For now, links.

14 Stories You May Not Know About Robert F. Kennedy - Look, I'm pretty much your typical New York democrat, but I definitely had a good chuckle at RFK getting totally pwned by Reagan. (Mental Floss)
Reagan also pwned on this recent Harris Poll, in which 25 percent of Americans named him the best president since World War II. Eat it, FDR! (UPI)
Looks like JFK's having a bad week - first Vanity Fair says they think they've found his love child in Vancouver, then some new assassination plot-related documents surface. Coincidence? The alleged offspring thinks not. (Vancouver Sun)
The National Archive has put together an exhibit of celebrity draft cards. Everybody from Louis Armstrong to Oscar Mayer is in here. Fun stuff.

Hail to the Friday Links

2008-02-15T11:49:00.001-08:00

Happy Presidents' Day Weekend, everybody! In honor of getting Monday off from work, here's a special all-President edition. (Okay, fine, 90% of the content in this blog is president-related. I try to make a special effort not to have that happen, but what can I say? Childhood obsessions die hard.)

Here are some Presidential screensavers and games to get you in an appropriately festive mood. (MSN)
In honor of the man's 199th birthday, here are nine little-known facts about Lincoln. (Mental Floss)
Hunter S. Thompson's scathing obituary of Richard Nixon. (Counterpunch)
A Salute to Obscure Presidents (Michael5000) - Incidentally, you know that car commercial with the Millard Fillmore soap on a rope? I'll be the best friend of anybody who can ACTUALLY find me a Millard Fillmore soap on a rope. It will go very nicely with my tiny plastic Warren G. Harding.
The comments to the above blog post led me to this very awesome website, which features one guy's quest to visit all of the Presidential burial sites.

And finally, here's some awesome video of eighth president Martin Van Buren playing Halo. Sort of.

Pimp My White House

2008-02-14T11:35:00.000-08:00

I often wonder why I'm so obsessed with Presidential trivia. I suspect it's partly about all the cool stuff you get to do when you're President. And no, I don't even mean all the leader-of-the-free-world business. I mean getting to live in that gigantic, awesome house with that giant awesome office (and hey, the commute couldn't be any better!). Not that I would ever want to be President - the way I see it, the White House is a very necessary perk to keep people interested in what is indubitably one of the hardest jobs anybody could ever have.

Various presidents over the years have lent their own recreational touches to the White House's already glamorous facilities. Here are a few of the more pimpin' ones.

John Quincy Adams's Billiard Table - As a youngster, JQA spent some time in France while Dad negotiated the Treaty of Paris. It was likely there that he developed a passion for billiards. Shortly after becoming president, he had a table built so he could play at home to unwind.

At the time, though, popular sentiment about billiards generally ran to the "trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool" school of thought. In fact, when JQA was up for re-election, Andrew Jackson's people derided Adams for enjoying such an ungentlemanly and altogether ...French pastime.

Calvin Coolidge's Mechanical Horse - Originally a gag gift of sorts, Coolidge kept this bizarre little apparatus in a dressing room next to his bedroom. He only tried it out once someone basically dared him to, and he found that he actually loved it and couldn't get enough. To the amusement of Mrs. Coolidge and various White House visitors, he rode the mechanical horse frequently throughout his presidency, always while wearing his hat, but not always while wearing clothes. (Yeah, not that Silent Cal was an unattractive man, but the visual of him riding the mechanical horse in his underwear is not one my mind needed to conjure. Thanks, Internet.)

The mechanical horse didn't remain at the White House after Coolidge's presidency. He couldn't part with it. So it went home with him when he moved out, and it can now be viewed in his museum in Northampton, Massachusetts. Its descendants can be found in country-western bars throughout the nation.

Harry Truman's Bowling Alley - The first bowling alleys in the White House were built as a birthday gift for President Truman in 1947. Turns out Harry would probably rather have had a new bike or a Red Ryder BB gun - neither he nor Bess were very into bowling. (I know the President, being the quintessential "man who has everything," is probably kind of hard to buy for, but really? Nobody bothered to ask him what he wanted?) He let his staff use it, though. In 1955 the bowling alley was moved into the basement to make room for some copy machines.

Though Truman had little use for it, the White House bowling alley was finally fully appreciated four presidents later, when avid bowlers Richard and Pat Nixon moved into the White House. President Nixon had the bowling alley rebuilt and outfitted with state-of-the-art technology, and used it often.

Dwight Eisenhower's Movie Theater - Well, okay, the movie theater was actually first built during the FDR administration, and screenings had occasionally been held at the White House practically since the dawn of motion pictures. But Ike was the one who really made the theater the pimptastic hanging-out spot it is today. He's the one who installed four enormous cushy armchairs in the first row - all the better to kick back while he watched the westerns he adored.

Subsequent presidents have also made frequent use of the theater - Jimmy Carter hosted frequent regular screenings, as did Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, who is reported to be a particular fan of the Austin Powers movies. (That explains so much.) Not so much of a movie buff was Lyndon Johnson, who mostly just liked to watch a 10-minute documentary about himself.

But there was something else LBJ couldn't get enough of...

Lyndon B. Johnson's Fresca Tap - Shortly after he became President, LBJ gave up drinking alcohol, and replaced it with another vice - the refreshing citrus sparkle of Fresca. Which I totally understand, as it's very delicious.

Adjacent to the Oval Office is a small private lounge where the President can go to take a break, catch a quick nap, or even just hide to freak out the Secret Service guys. Originally designed for the Eisenhower administration, it's outfitted with a couple of comfy chairs, some TVs, and direct phones to all the most important aides. LBJ liked it for more informal, one-on-one meetings, and to make it feel more like home, he had a "Fresca" button installed right next to the "Coffee" button, so he could get a glass of his favorite soda whenever he wanted.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. See you tomorrow for the obligatory links roundup. Until then, crack open a Fresca and think of LBJ.

All Quiet on the Friday Links Front

2008-02-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

NPR memorializes the second-to-last surviving World War I veteran.

The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, closed for renovations since September 2006, is going to be closed for just a bit longer. (DCist)

2008 is not the first time people have thought it might be cool to have a Presidential ticket consisting of a woman and a black man. (ABC News)

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar delivers a history lecture to a room full of college students, many of whom aren't sure who he is. (Orange County Register)

So remember how I mentioned some famous folks were making a miniseries based on A People's History of the United States? Well, plans have changed - now it's a movie. (Rotten Tomatoes)

The SCOTUS Guide to Picking Up Chicks

2008-02-07T12:08:00.001-08:00

This handsome young fellow pictured at right is named Joseph Story, a former member of the House of Representatives, and a Supreme Court justice from 1812-1845. He was only 32 years old when James Madison appointed him to the court, and remains the youngest person ever appointed to the nation's highest court.

When Story assumed his spot on the bench, his boss was legendary Chief Justice John Marshall. Marshall's chief concern as Chief Justice was court unity. He was the first to recommend that the Court pass down one single opinion rather than each justice assembling his own opinion. He also felt that all of the justices should become as familiar as possible with each other's personalities and habits. To that end, he introduced the idea that all of the justices should live and dine together in the same boardinghouse during the six weeks a year that the court was in session. (William Rehnquist recounted an amusing anecdote about the court's dinners together in this 2001 speech.) According to Story, "the Judges here live with perfect harmony, and as agreeable as absence from friends and from families could make our residence." By the way, I think it would be incredibly awesome if they still did this. (And made a reality show about it.)

But those weeks in Washington weren't entirely about discussing the Constitution. Even Supreme Court justices need a little recreation. So they didn't just work together, live together, and eat together -- they also partied together. In a letter to his wife during his rookie year on the Court, Joseph Story recounts the following:

Two of the Judges are widowers, and of course objects of considerable attraction among the ladies of the city. We have fine sport at their expense, and amuse our leisure with some touches at match-making. We have already ensnared one of the Judges, and he is now (at the age of forty-seven) violently afflicted with the tender passion. Being myself a veteran in the service, I take great pleasure in administering to his relief, and I feel no small pride in remarking that the wisdom of years does not add any thing of discretion to the impatience, jealousies, or doubts of a lover.

I'm not sure which justice he's talking about here - the one who's 47 at the time of the letter is Thomas Todd, who was happily married at the time to James Madison's sister-in-law. If I had to guess, I'd say Bushrod Washington, but I really haven't got much to go on there, except that he is near that age. Wikipedia doesn't seem to have much about most of these guys' marital status. I guess they figure if we wanted to date them, that ship sailed about 200 years ago.

But a special note to ladies of the 21st century: if you're ever out drinking in Washington, I hear David Souter is single. Just don't offer to buy him a Diet Coke. You will only confuse him.

Ungainly Mass of Friday Links

2008-02-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

20 Things You Didn't Know About Science Fiction. (Discover Magazine) My favorite little factoid from this? Robert Heinlein's role in the conceptualization of the waterbed, which, if you have ever read Heinlein, should surprise you not at all.

Presidential Elections and Height Differences (Mental Floss)

5 Places to Watch Movies Legally Online (PBS) This isn't directly history-related, except in the sense that there are some great historically-significant films available in the public domain that you can, and should, try to catch.

The 5 Nastiest Presidential Elections in U.S. History (Neatorama) Thomas Jefferson actually pretty much called John Adams a hermaphrodite. True fax. Expect more on the topic of election mudslinging in the future. 'Tis the season and all.

Finally, speaking of John Adams, how psyched are you for the HBO John Adams miniseries?

History Goes to the Movies

2008-01-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I saw the cinematic historical epic du jour, There Will Be Blood. I highly, highly recommend it for anybody who's interested in Upton Sinclair, oil, sweeping historical epics, late Gilded Age issues and aesthetics, or Daniel Day-Lewis screaming about milkshakes.

Yeah, there's one particular line that's both a perfect metaphor and utterly absurd, and of course whenever my brain hears "milkshake" anymore, I go to one particular song.

Apparently, I'm not the only one, as evidenced by this charming little nugget of YouTube I found today:

I See London, I See France, I See Friday Links

2008-01-25T07:10:00.000-08:00

It's been a slowish week here at History is Funny. I blame the cold weather here in New York.

A Brief History of Pants. But this being a UK publication, what they really mean is "A Brief History of Underwear." (Belfast Telegraph)

Show that's not actually about history garners the History Channel its largest-ever viewing audience. (B&C) Incidentally, "Life After People" is rerunning this Saturday afternoon if you're interested in seeing it. I'll be honest - I haven't watched the History Channel for anything other than "Human Weapon" in about three months, so I wasn't one of those 5.4 million people. I resolve to do better.

An Illustrated History of Trepannation (scienceblogs.com) Just so's you know, this article contains some images you probably don't want to look at while eating your lunch.

Here's more on the film adaptation of A People's History of the United States. (NPR)

And in case that last link made you realize you like your history via audio, check out the Voice of America's "Making of a Nation" series.

Photo gallery of famous people who were once cheerleaders. (WMUR via boingboing.net)

What Else Do I Have To Say?

2008-01-22T05:10:00.000-08:00

Billy Joel has said that if he hadn't become a musician, he would have wanted to be a history teacher. His secret history-buffitude emerged in the 1989 hit "We Didn't Start the Fire," which was basically a rapid-fire tour through the second half of the 20th century, jam-packed with references to pop culture, politics, sports, and science.

Here are a few awesome tribute sites, which will give you some extra background information on various lines in the song you may have missed or misunderstood:

Here's a flash video with accompanying images for each reference. (Yeli.us)

The BBC's in-depth tour of the song.

Here's one of the many hyperlinked lyric lists that are floating around out there.

And finally, the fine folks at JibJab.com made an awesome send-up covering everything that happened in 2007. (The name "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" was MADE for that song, wasn't it?)

Germane and German

2008-01-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

And in case you need a bit of light (and I do mean light) reading for the long weekend, LiveJournal user "benchilada" has found a bit o' lit for you:

I tried to use just one-syllable words in this post and have, for the most part, done well, but I think not as well as I could have.

Call Me Friday Links

2008-01-18T06:30:00.000-08:00

Not much laugh-out-loud funny to be had this week, but plenty in the way of fascinating stories.

Fortune Cookies' origins have been traced to Japan. (New York Times)

Moby Dick's narrator tries his hand at stand-up comedy. (McSweeney's)

The Library of Congress has just joined flickr. And it's pretty much the awesomest thing ever. A big chunk of what they've put up here is from their FSA/OWI collection, most of it from the 40s, most of it in glorious stylized 40s color. I could waste hours here. (And actually have done.)

Speaking of the Library of Congress: A set of photo negatives labeled by the LOC as being pictures of Grant's inauguration turn out to be from Lincoln's. (LA Times via A. Lincoln Blog.)

Again tangentially related to the Library of Congress: Historian Joe Manning has undertaken the project of finding out what happened to many of the children in Lewis Hine's famous photographs of child laborers.

Vladimir Nabokov wanted his last unpublished manuscript destroyed after his death. It's currently sitting in a bank vault. Should his son respect Nabokov's wishes or those of his readers/scholars/fans/admirers? (Slate)

Here Lies Good Old Fred - A Great Big Rock Fell On His Head

2008-01-15T10:28:00.001-08:00

Apocryphal stories about epitaphs abound in popular culture, especially when it comes to well-known entertainers who number among the deceased. There's just something satisfying about the idea of leaving one last great line behind, though it's a scant few, it seems, who actually go through with it.

Contrary to popular belief, Dorothy Parker's grave doesn't say "Excuse my dust." She doesn't actually have one - she was cremated and her ashes were scattered - but apparently the garden where the ashes were eventually scattered thought to add it to the plaque that commemorates her there.

Thanks to Find A Grave, I have found a few verifiable - and funny - epitaphs from various famous folks:

Mel Blanc's headstone quotes his famous line, "That's All, Folks!", which, if you think about it, is appropriate on many levels.

Robert Frost's headstone proclaims: "I Had a Lover's Quarrel With the World."

Spike Milligan's says, "Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite." (Which is Gaelic for "I told you I was sick.")

And finally, the headstone that prompted this silly search in the first place, game show pioneer Merv Griffin: "I will not be right back after this message."

(The title of this post originates outside the Haunted Mansion ride at the Magic Kingdom. While most of the Disney World rides offer you some distraction while you wait, the headstones that greet the line for this ride are funny in the most corny, silly, mildly twisted way possible.)

History is Sketchy

2008-01-14T06:25:00.000-08:00

Those of you in the greater metropolitan New York area may wish to check out the following incredibly awesome comedy show, which has its first performance this week. Kelly's a good friend of mine, and if this show is half as funny as it sounded when she was first conceptualizing it, it will be well worth your five bucks:

Henry Clay Frick Presents: Kelly Buttermore and Greg Wilker Can't Read
From the minds of a history teacher and the daughter of a history teacher comes a show about presidents, panthers, and the difference between Henry Clay and Henry Clay Frick. Join Kelly Buttermore and Greg Wilker for an evening of zany yet educational sketch comedy.

Written and performed by Kelly Buttermore and Greg Wilker
Featuring Jon Bander and Eden Gauteron
Directed by Mark Grenier

Tuesday, January 15th and Tuesday, January 29th at 8:00 pm
@ the Magnet Theater
254 West 29th Street, just off of 8th Avenue
Only $5!
Visit their website or call 212-244-8824 for reservations!

(ed. note - I really, really hope they left in the part about William Howard Taft being the lead singer of the first all-dog rock band.)

I Have Lusted in My Heart for Friday Links

2008-01-10T20:49:00.000-08:00

I think maybe I'll just make this the thing I do for Fridays - all the nutty stuff I collect during the week in one tasty little post.

(Listen to me talk like I invented blogging or something...or even like it's not something I've been doing for going on seven years now.)

But forget all that - let's get on with the linkage.

The Pinky Show Presents: "Thomas Edison Hates Cats" - I can't remember how I stumbled across Pinky, but this kitty's irreverent, well-researched, and creative presentations were part of what inspired me to start a history blog.

This week in the Onion, Jimmy Carter says "I Got What America Needs Right Here." (Naturally, this is not really Jimmy Carter. Also naturally, it's an Onion op-ed and is thus packed with swears.)

Speaking of Jimmy Carter, here's the Straight Dope on Jimmy's legendary scrape with a murderous rabbit. And him without a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

Cracked.com presents Five popular brands that originated with the Nazis. Being a humor site first and foremost, Cracked doesn't always do the most meticulous research, but they're almost always hilarious.

Did a radio broadcaster mistakenly refer to Herbert Hoover as "Hoobert Heever"? Snopes knows the answer.

Steampunk Drive-by Shooting

2008-01-09T12:40:00.001-08:00

Certainly there is not much to laugh at when it comes to the extermination of the bison in the American West.

I found this image from Frank Leslie's Illustrated Newspaper today. It shows men shooting at buffalo (eh, bison, buffalo, only extreme zoology pedants will get up in my grill about it) from the windows of a train - an exceptionally stupid and cruel stunt inflicted by a people already well-known for their stupidity and cruelty.

But stupid and cruel though it is, I still got a pretty dark chuckle out of it, especially having recently seen Will Smith using a Ford Shelby Mustang to hunt deer in Manhattan in I Am Legend. Call this the predecessor if you will.

One for the ladies

2008-01-09T09:42:00.001-08:00

Over at the Freakonomics blog today, there's some great betting-themed analysis of Hillary Clinton's New Hampshire primary victory, with bonus comparisons to Truman and Dewey. Though I'm an Obama girl myself, I'm a presidential trivia nerd first and foremost, so I think the outcome will be fascinating no matter who wins it all.

Also, discussion over there has inspired me to do a little extra research on female presidential candidates, which led me to this list of female candidates, worldwide, since 1870.

Links Galore

2008-01-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

A couple of new articles are in the works, but for now, just enjoy this slice of the latest interesting, absorbing, and just plain weird history-related news items:

Why are folks so fond of 'weird history'? (Sydney Morning Herald) - that's "weird" as in "a little nutty and probably bogus", not weird as in bizarre.

The many adventures of fictional explorer Tintin, and his many resulting head injuries, likely caused hormonal imbalances. (ABC for Kids)

Joe Ellis on his favorite founding father: "[T]he one that I want to have a beer with is John Adams. Maybe we'll have a Sam Adams together." (Bloomberg)

British historian sees Johnny Depp as the ideal actor to play Stalin. (Russia-IC)

The assassination of Benazir Bhutto sparks this interesting analysis of assassinations in history. (Daily Press)

An oldie but a goodie: Richard Nixon used the wrong "Wilson Desk" in the White House. (Snopes)

Also, did you catch the new PBS documentary Andrew Jackson: Good, Evil, and the Presidency on Wednesday? I'll keep my eyes open for a re-airing, and if I find anything out, I'll let you know. It was fun, but woefully low on badassery.

Filibuster? I hardly know her!

2007-12-28T12:37:00.001-08:00

In the early days of email forwards, and even before that, I used to delight in those lists of allegedly arcane laws that would circulate. (Here's a good example list. Like, here in New York, unwanted flirting is apparently punishable by forcing the offending party to wear horse blinders.) Their veracity was always very suspect, and a good number of them were probably impossible to enforce even if they WERE real laws, but they were still amusing.

I bet Robert Byrd likes them too, because an arcane Senate rule once helped him bust through a filibuster.

In February 1988, a campaign finance measure was on the Senate floor, and the Republicans were attempting to keep it from going to a vote by any means necessary. This included playing hooky from the session to prevent a quorum from being present. Frustrated with the low turnout, then-Senate majority leader Byrd invoked an old rule that empowered the Sergeant-at-Arms to physically round up absent parties and force them to attend the session. Those present voted 45 to 3 to proceed, and so the Sergeant-at-Arms was dispatched.

(The Sergeant-at-Arms, by the way, is an actual salaried position, and he's usually a pretty tough guy. Back when I was in high school, we had Sergeant-at-Arms as an office you could run for in most clubs, but it was mostly just another opportunity for kids to pad their college resumes, since really, who's going to filibuster at a Key Club meeting?)

Among those arrested were Senator Bob Packwood (R-OR), who'd barricaded himself inside his office. According to an article in the National Review, "a cleaning woman ratted on him," and the Sergeant-at-Arms, together with two aides, forced open the door to apprehend Packwood. Another senator, Steve Symms of Idaho, was spotted but outran his would-be captors.

Here's the entire article in question. It's much funnier if you envision all of this with the "Benny Hill" theme playing underneath it.

Here's more information, courtesy of the U.S. Senate, about filibustering. The Senate now has the power to shut someone up with a 2/3 majority, but it hasn't stopped folks like Strom Thurmond and Huey Long from taking up hours of floor time to stall a vote.

These Wonderful Things Are the Things We Remember All Through Our (Very Short) Lives

2007-12-20T12:17:00.000-08:00

The only trouble with writing about Currier and Ives is that I will now be singing "Sleigh Ride" for the rest of the day. Oh well, 'tis the season.

Anyway. Currier and Ives. They were a nineteenth-century firm that specialized in mass-produced lithographs -- "Publishers of Cheap and Popular Pictures," they called themselves. People generally bought (or otherwise received) their hand-colored prints and framed them for decorative purposes. You probably know them best for their images of fruit bowls, horse races, or idyllic winter landscapes, but they really did all kinds of stuff -- and I do mean all kinds. Because in addition to their clip-arty lithographs suitable for hanging above the mantel, Currier and Ives also had a weird thing about deathbeds:

And okay, if it was just this one, I could see that being a big seller - it was a pretty major event in the lives of many Americans, and a good number of them adored Lincoln.

But it's not just this one. They are legion. The Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Collection is crawling with images of one famous guy or another languishing as he gasps out his last breath, surrounded by loved ones and colleagues (you may recognize then-vice president Andrew Johnson in Lincoln's picture above).

Here are a few others:

Here's Garfield.

Here's John Quincy Adams, who apparently had no female relatives.

And just so you know, it wasn't specific to presidents.
I'm somehow having a hard time picturing someone actually framing and hanging a deathbed photo like this. If you really loved the figure in question, you'd probably want to commemorate them in the prime of their life. Unless you hated them, I guess, which...maybe you'd want a picture of their death in that event, but Currier and Ives doesn't seem like the sort of agency that caters to the mean-spirited. I mean, they enjoy hunting dogs, and doe-eyed Miss Liberties, and fruit orchards, and sleighs. They don't seem like the sort of people to dance on graves. Even taking into account the Victorian (and earlier) obsession with all things death, it's weird.

My best guess has something to do with the fact that Currier and Ives had a deal with the New York Sun for awhile in which a hand-colored print came with the newspaper once a week. The weekly print was often something that had happened recently - hence the reason for all the Civil War battles and images of ships blowing up. The death of a major historical figure is news, and of course they'd commemorate it somehow.

Just as newswires today have pre-written obituary template stashed away for various notable people, I'm imagining Currier and Ives had a specific deathbed template, just to cut some corners - add the head of the recently deceased, add some appropriately gendered and aged loved ones, and voila.

Links are Marginally Funny

2007-12-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

From Mental Floss: Five Artistic Rivalries that Got Ugly (thanks to emakelle for this link!)

Via American Presidents: 20 Things You Didn't Know About U.S. Presidents, in which James K. Polk attempts to challenge Andrew Jackson for Most Hardcore President by undergoing gall bladder surgery sedated only by brandy. I must say, that impresses me almost as much as having They Might Be Giants write a song about you. You sure know the way to my heart, Mr. Polk.

And in case your curiosity is piqued by the same things mine is piqued by, I went ahead and found the recipe for President Eisenhower's vegetable soup. A few other presidential recipes are at this site. Being a less ambitious cook than Ike, I think I'm more likely to make President Clinton's Chicken Broccoli Enchiladas before I attempt the Eisenhower vegetable soup.

A miniseries based on Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States is currently under production. Only funny because of the extremely diverse cast, and the inclusion of Eddie Vedder makes me wish hard that he'll dress up in a powdered wig and perform some grunge-flavored hist-rock. Also, because Team America: World Police has completely ruined my image of Matt Damon.

The New York Times republished a bestseller list from 1943. Testament to how fleeting fame is when you've written a book, even a bestselling book. The only books on here that I'd heard of were made into movies. (And I have neither seen said movies nor read the books.)

Speaking of the NYT bestseller list...it IS still a pretty awesome honor to be on it, and I would be remiss here if I didn't send some props out to my former professor and favorite historian, Joseph J. Ellis, whose latest is sitting pretty on the top ten nonfiction bestsellers list this week. Go Joe! ...er, I mean, Dr. Ellis. Sir.

History is Funny, and Federalism is Gangsta

2007-12-06T11:59:00.000-08:00

Here's an oldie but goodie from ...this past August, courtesy of Overheard in New York.

White teen girl, about statue of Alexander Hamilton: Look at him! I mean, he's such a dreamboat... That's why he's my favorite federalist.
Mom: And what did your class call him?
White teen girl: Hammy! And he was big pals with B-Frank, and Johnny Ads, and G-Dubya, and J-Marsh, and... And... And I can't remember any more founding fathers, but of course they all had their own gangsta names, too. They were big pimpin' over there in Independence Hall. The only things they were missing were the hos... And that's why Abby A. wanted them to remember the ladies.

--Columbia University

After you read enough Hammy, you find him WAY less dreamy, as I'm sure this teen girl will discover if she decides to major in history someday.

Did Andrew Jackson really shoot a guy in the junk?

2007-12-03T10:25:00.001-08:00

In an earlier post, I showed you a fantastic rap video that featured, among other things, a kid dressed like Andrew Jackson claiming to have shot a guy in the testicles.

Clearly, this is something that, if true, involved both history and funny, and I've meant to explore it for quite some time, and in the process I have become better acquainted with the man who is perhaps the biggest badass ever to have served our country as chief executive.

Most of what you probably know about Jackson is pretty textbook: he's on the twenty. His nickname was "Old Hickory." He fought in more than one war. He had really funky hair. He destroyed the national bank. He was really awful to the Native Americans.

Good or bad, these things only barely hint at Jackson the Badass. It wasn't until I read a couple of accounts of his 1806 duel with Charles Dickinson (this one and this one are both especially good) that I fully appreciated his badassery.

Jackson loved duels. He participated in over a dozen of them throughout his life, but his duel with Dickinson was the only one that ended in someone actually dying. In this instance, Dickinson had insulted Jackson's wife, Rachel, because she was a divorcee (Jackson was her second husband), which understandably pissed off Mr. Jackson. (Apparently he defended his wife's honor a lot. More power to ya, Andy!) So the challenge was issued, and the men rode from Tennessee into Kentucky, where duels were still legal, to engage in their competition.

You may know this from reading up on the Hamilton-Burr duel (at least I did), but the code duello that governed dueling practices of the day basically gave the following rules:

1. The men stand 24 feet apart.
2. A signal is given.
3. Both men very quickly draw, aim, and fire. If one of them dies, the duel's over.
4. Whoever shoots first has to wait for the other guy to shoot before he can shoot again.
5. After both men shoot, if they're both still alive, they can call it a draw and go home or they can keep shooting. (Most of the time, the duelers were satisfied by having both gotten a shot out, and just by showing up, you'd proven that you were a gentleman after some fashion, so mostly I think they just shot and went home.)

Because you have to draw and shoot so quickly under these rules, it's no wonder so many people lived through them - it's pretty hard to do, especially with an early-19th-century pistol.

Rule number 4 came into play in the Hamilton duel because Hammy shot first - straight up into the air - some say intentionally, in hopes that Burr would fire into the air too. (Spoiler - he totally didn't.) In the Jackson-Dickinson duel, Jackson decided to play that rule the other way. Dickinson was a far better shot on the quick, so Jackson figured he could buy some time by letting Dickinson get a shot off first and then pausing to aim.

That's right, he let the other guy shoot directly at him. Badass!

And the other guy hit him. In the chest. Even more badass! (The bullet, inches from Jackson's heart, was too dangerously placed to be removed, so it stayed there for the rest of his life.)

And then Jackson calmly placed one hand over the wound, cocked his gun, aimed carefully at Dickinson's midsection, and fired, killing him. That's so badass it makes 50 Cent look like a basket of fluffy kittens.

(And it's more than a little bit unsporting, many people would argue.)

So is he badass? Hell to the yeah.
Is he a dirty cheater? Possibly.
Did he really shoot a guy in the jewels? Inconclusive. Some sources say "groin," others say "middle," still others only point out that he died. I'm going to guess not, though, because most accounts explicate that Dickinson was shot once and died on the spot, and getting hit in an extremity like the testicles probably wouldn't kill you instantly. The femoral artery, maybe, and the gut, possibly, but right square in the nads wouldn't necessarily have done the trick, I don't think.

I guess it's a little bit more amusing if that's what happened, but the idea of Jackson taking a bullet to the chest without flinching is funny enough on its own.

Next time, I'll tell you about his cursing parrot.

Stephen Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator

2007-11-28T07:08:00.000-08:00

Back from vacation and ready to bring more history funny to you. Today's topic: presidential hair.

Now, of course there are some very obvious presidential 'dos that spring to mind, even above and beyond the conventions of the day (powdered wigs aren't funny if everyone's wearing them - if it were the 1790s, you'd be wearing one too, smart-ass). James K. Polk and his egregious mullet are clearly way up there, and of course there's also the glorious mane of Andrew Jackson. But those, to me, pale next to this photo I found on a stereoview in the Library of Congress, depicting Abraham Lincoln circa 1860 with some truly wacky hair.

I think I saw this guy drinking PBR at Barcade the other night.

Were he young and alive today, no doubt this Abe would be an avid fan of Sufjan Stevens, from whom I get the quote in this post's title.

FDR: Fireside Freestyle!

2007-11-15T18:42:00.000-08:00

I don't anticipate that I'll be posting every day going forward, but since I'm taking a nice, long, well-deserved vacation next week, I'm happy to dig into my back catalog of history fun to get this blog nice and padded.

And I might as well take the opportunity to tell you why this blog exists. I grew up obsessed with presidential trivia, majored in history in college, and now I work in a ...related field. Often, I've found hilarious images or bits of trivia that beg to be shared. Et voila. Here it is. How often I post will largely depend on how many funny things I find at work, which will depend on what I'm working on at any given time.

In the meantime, enjoy the first installment of what I intend as a regular feature: an awesome histcore video. What is histcore? Well, it's a term I made up to describe any rap song about history. Mostly these appear to be done by high school kids for class projects. Many of them are nothing short of genius.

Maybe it's not wise to lead off with the very best one ever, but I will anyway:

Whoever these guys are, I hope they got an A.

Status Quo is Latin for "the mess we're in"

2007-11-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

Via the American Presidents blog, which is possibly my favorite blog on the entire Intertubes: The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library can't locate or account for roughly 80% of the artifacts in its 100,000-item inventory.

There are a billion and one Reagan jokes I could make here, and they are ALL completely disrespectful and tasteless. While I am probably way more irreverent than the folks over at American Presidents, I do have to draw a line somewhere, and I think Alzheimer's jokes are well on the wrong side of that line. I'm sure the joke was much funnier as you imagined it in your head, anyway.

The Era of Good Feelings From Other People's Dads

2007-10-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

James Monroe is an interesting dude. A little too young to be completely effectual as a founding father, he often gets overshadowed by his predecessors, particularly his mentor, Thomas Jefferson. And sure, that Missouri Compromise business was a pretty huge misstep. But look at what he did do - he acquired Florida, he penned the Monroe Doctrine, and he deemphasized partisan politics. Which was kind of a no-brainer given that Federalism was pretty much dead by this point, but still. People liked him quite a lot. He was the only president other than George Washington to run unopposed for re-election, and he won the 1820 election practically unanimously.

I say practically because there was that one guy in the Electoral College who just had to be a hater. William Plumer of New Hampshire, a staunch Federalist, couldn't bring himself to vote for Monroe. Instead, he cast his vote for Monroe's Secretary of State, John Quincy Adams. Interestingly enough, JQA's own father didn't vote for him, most likely because JQA wasn't actually intending to run and Plumer's vote kind of came out of nowhere...still, it's interesting that the one voice crying out in the wilderness on his behalf was not his dad.

JQA stepped right up to the plate voluntarily as soon as Monroe was done with this President stuff, and in the 1824 election Dad was more than happy to back him up. Most folks preferred Andrew Jackson, on the popular as well as electoral side, though, and it was only after a lot of heated contention that JQA pulled that victory out. (Surely I can't be the first person to feel a little deja vu when it comes to this tale of the son of a former president running away with an election after he lost the popular vote.)

Okay, maybe that's not funny ha-ha so much as funny strange. Still.

Martin Van Buren, Samurai Badass

2007-10-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

As an avid Wikipedia editrix, I would never want to encourage any sort of vandalism that detracts from the site's status as a valuable reference tool.

However, my scruples didn't stop me from being driven to hysterics by this subtle change to Wikipedia's "Martin Van Buren" article, which claims that the eighth president studied samurai under Mr. Miyagi.

These edits were up for less than ten minutes, I think - testament to the effectiveness of Wikipedia's self-policing team of editors and moderators. Good job, guys!

2007-10-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

I swear, the funny stuff is coming soon.